Why The Gays...Deejay

1. The Music industry relies heavily on the ‘pink pound’ (especially in a credit crunch) and the homo-audience has revived some major celebs’ careers time and time again; see Kylie, Madonna, Britney (do you think they would have survived so long without us) and we have helped hurl others almost over night to the top of the charts, see Girls Aloud, Katy Perry, The Saturdays, Sugababes (including the chav and ginger one who left.) G-A-Y/Heaven, gets the biggest names performing because the DJs keep spinning their tracks!

2. For every cool-indie-electro-fluorescently-coloured-accessory club there is a better cool-indie-electro-fluorescently-coloured-accessory club. (Note: we invented that before it became mainstream. Sunglasses in a nightclub? Chunky plastic bling? So circa 1981!) For all RnB clubs there are funkier and more ghetto booty shaking nights at gay clubs. 80s, 90s, 00‘s night are OWNED by the gays… noticing a trend? Therefore hundreds of opportunities are available for gay DJs to spin some tunes up and down the country.

3. Gays love dancing. So much they take off their shirts. Where else can you get a better view of a room full of tight Calvin Kleins and testosterone than from the DJ booth?!

4. These sexy sweaty dancing gays are on the prowl usually… always… ok, most definitely (they have their shirt’s off for heaven sake!) and who best to gyrate against than the one in the power of the music, the DJ!

5. So along with constant adoring attention from pilled up party boys, as a DJ you get a host of freebies. Free entry. Free drinks. Free merchandise and use of the bathroom and the aftershaves for free.

6. It’s common knowledge that’s its really who you do and knowing who you’re mates do, that propels you into the high society of the gay world. As a DJ networking skills are crucial. Thankfully every popper and WKD fuelled night is just another opportunity to mingle. Forget boring meetings and lunches, a quick gossip and re-enactment of ‘I’m Spinning Around’ is much more successful. (Hot pants optional)

7. As a DJ you play the music you want to hear! Setting up your own club night gives you the freedom to express yourself, including revealing all those dodgy one hit wonders you love so much!

8. Want to get your club night noticed? Then invite some hunky boys, throw in a couple of outrageously dress up Trannys and Ladyboys and BAM, you’re sorted! Everyone loves and bit of rent-a-crowd in fancy dress, drag and with big hair…

9. DJs can earn a ridiculous amount of money for one night with the least amount of work! We maybe lazy, but we look damn good doing it!

10. Gays have the best taste in music. Ever. Fact.



DAN LAMBDEN